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letters to you

1st February, 2004. 9:09 pm. you want to take me out to dinner. you want to bury me under a mound of shopping bags...

Dear you,

HOW DARE YOU?! no... no... i dont mean to start it out like that... but really! How dare you?! Here we are in this nice French restaurant (how fitting, since they surrendered... like you.) enjoying such fine Merlot, and you lay it on me that you're leaving me for the redhead in pharmaceutical sales. Here I thought you were tending to men with gunwounds in their skulls and junkies with syringes in their aorta when you were just flirting with that babe about Zoloft. Well, tell me, dear, do you know how to tend to a knife to the heart? how bout a stab in the back?

I'm sorry that I am the person that I am. I'm sorry that I say the things that I say; I don't mean them.

Current mood: dejected.

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1st February, 2004. 8:05 pm. I love you so much its killing us both

Dear You,

Tonight was so off. You were such a mess on the couch. I wanted to hold you so bad, but I didn't know what to do, so instead I ate my Kettle Cooked lays. You looked up at me with your glazed eyes and I just wanted to kiss you, but I didn't. You shouldn't smoke pot and drink anymore. Don't you know its bad for you? There are so many things I wish I could help you with. I'm sorry that your stepdad touches you innappropriatly. I would punch him, but I hear he's a pretty big guy and I am pretty small. Please stop messing yourself up so bad. If you only knew how much I loved you... Please stop going out with that muscle head that hangs me up by my underwear in gym class. I will now recite lyrics from the 2000 Wheatus hit, Teenage Dirtbag:

"Cuz I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
listen to Iron Maiden baby with me
oooo
Oh yeah.
Dirtbag.
No she doesn't know what she's missing.
Man, I feel like mold."

I feel that song truly expresses how I feel about you, except that your name isn't Noelle and we're friends so you know who I am. I'm willing to overlook this. Why is being 13 so hard? If I had a car, I would drive us to Ohio where we could live in peace on a farm and listen to Mustard Plug all day and you could raise chickens and I could lay bricks.

Be my valentine.

-- J.

Current mood: sleepy.

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